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It's the Tommy & Rum-Blog Archives!
Friday, February 29
This is what the studio looks like right now.....
More pictures from the carnage that was the Friday show...including...
Kristen Crowley, Rick and a bear. All just another day, as far as Charlie Murphy knows.
Video proof!!
Idiots on the Internet
This is the most annoying toy in the world. Or at least it was. I just heard Shelley play the video, and now I click the video and nothing happens, says it's unavailable. So I'm going to keep looking for something to have a link for you. Hey look it works again.
This video's title is "Bad Towing Job" and I constantly mis-read it as something incredibly dirty. Something about the word "job" following any adjective makes me giggle. A lot. I will not make jokes about the ethnicity/sex of the driver though.
Now I'm going to secretly make fun of Rick for not seeing this before. It's the best of the Tourette's Guy. DANGEROUS LANGUAGE AHEAD, so there's your warning. Now I call B.S. on this being legit Tourette's. But not too many people seem to agree/care. And why should you care?
I have to re-evaluate my life now, brb.
-Erk
Thursday, February 28
Idiots on the Internet
If you are in this video, you should be completely ashamed. If you're not in the video but still got more than one of these questions wrong when asking yourself aloud, you should be completely ashamed. There's absolutely no reason not to know that Buddhism is a religion...like I don't even have words for how stupid these people are. Now I get it...a camera, a microphone, you're put on the spot...you're going to draw a blank. But seriously this is beyond ridiculous.
This video had the audio played on the show the other day. The dumb "Moment of Truth" show has completely destroyed a marriage and a couple lives. So enjoy this, ya sick voyeurs.
-Erk
Wednesday, February 27
Idiots on the Internet
Ted Kennedy loves singing in Spanish. I'm not sure why. Pandering aside, this is a really old drunk sounding really old and drunk. Have fun with that.
You ever wondered what it sounds like if you punched a video game chick in the roast beef? You probably shouldn't. That's just my advice. But if you did, then there's a game where you can make it happen. It's one of those "Make-your-own-game" games...and you can just make chicks punch each other in the pork chops for several minutes at a time. Not sure why you'd do this....but yeah there you go.
 Shelley had a story in the news today featuring an 11 year old interviewing the greatest human to ever walk the planet, Gary Busey. I hate when I find the videos on some other website that captions the video with a zippy line that I wish I had written. So the stolen joke premise I'm going to use here is "Don't be 11 years old around Gary Busey, He hates that." Or something to that effect. Shouts outs are stupid
-Erk
Tuesday, February 26
Idiots on the Internet
Sorry for the delay. It's a news blooper today. Taken from a while back when the Miss America at the time was in a lot of trouble for being an awesome underaged chick who drank too much and made out with other chicks. Yeah....that's what we need to persecute people for. Being awesome citizens. Anyway, this news reporter screws up and says "Tit-le." Laugh at that.
Disgustingly cute are not words I like to have to put up here often. But there's not much else that aptly describes it. This 3 year old explains the first Star Wars movie better than a lot of nerds could.
-Erk
Monday, February 25
Let me just say that I am shocked that I was blamed for putting up that God-awful Hillary video from Friday. The Idiots on the Internet videos are chosen by Tommy and Rick and then sent to me. I just do what I'm told. With that being said...
A weird pig song is taking the internet over. I think. I don't like listening to too much of it. It makes me hate BBQ. Not cool.
I see a cat in an internet video and I immediately don't like it. Don't know if I've mentioned it, but I'm allergic to cats and don't like them. So the title of this one is "Britney, Miley, & Danny Bonaduce's lil wee wee". That's enough for me....
You probably saw the ad for this when logging into Myspace over the weekend...this dude can store pool balls in his mouth. Fill in your own jokes for that one.
 This IS GOLD!
Easily the greatest video this blog has ever linked to. Mobile, Alabama experienced a leprechaun epidemic a couple years ago. The following news story will bring tears to your eyes. There are so many great quotes in this next 2 minutes you won't believe it. I want the gold!
-Erk
Friday, February 22
Idiots on the Internet
These made the rounds a while ago, so it's kind of an "Idiots" flashback for all the kids who don't know. If you're in the market for a new RV, you wanna buy from a guy who hates his camera crew and apparently has a wife with a serious drinking problem.
I feel like I use the words "best" and "worst" a lot on this site. But every couple weeks something happens that requires such use of extreme superlatives. This is easily the worst song the internet has produced. If you crossed "Getting Gay with Kids" from South Park with any terrible "Tonight Show" joke about Hillary Clinton, this is about what you would get. Only imagine you're being stabbed while you watch it.
-Erk
Thursday, February 21
 If you're ever stuck in a weird situation where brutally destroying someone's face is probably the only logical course of action...just ask yourself, "What would Kimbo do?" I know I ask that all the time. But my answer usually ends in just "lift more weights, grow more beard" so that's what I do. Here's how it applies to normal people though.
I'm calling B.S. on this video. A marriage proposal at a basketball game that really just makes Tracy McGrady laugh. I'm don't buy it, but I also kinda buy it because no woman really wants to marry a fake beard like that. I mean come on....look at it. Yeah...check this out for yourself.
-Erk
Wednesday, February 20
Idiots on the Internet
 I saw this one yesterday but couldn't really tell what was being said. The only phrases I could make were "The future is going to cost a lot of money" and "You want CD Boner?" Yup...this is what a typical call the Dell help desk is like. Frightening.
Back when men were men, unlike now where they resemble more of a skunk-like creature, manly products like Jack Daniels and Marlboro cigarettes sponsored manly events like NFL football played without facemasks and leather helmets. Need proof? Fine, don't believe me. Watch the video.
 Not idiots now. If that makes sense. I was sent this under the heading "Hillary in the morning." I do believe the word "DERP!!" is the only thing I can say back to that. But the fish is pretty badass. If it got the chance it'd eat everyone you care about.
-Erk
Tuesday, February 19
Idiots on the Internet
When you think about it, the 3 point arc on a basketball court really does look like an oblong boob. But I guess you're not really supposed to call it that on tv. Even Charles Barkley is speechless...I think.
More tasers. I watched this and all that came to mind is "Why?" I really can't figure out why you need to shotgun a beer before being tased. Although watching the guys leg completely lock up is pretty cool.
-Erk
Monday, February 18
Idiots on the Internet
Barack Obama is such a good speaker that he will literally knock you out with his words. Literally. I hear this woman is looking into pressing charges against his giant words that flew out of his mouth and smacked her up-side her head. I just think it's fun to type "up-side her head."
Rick has been sitting on this one for a couple days. The cast of Spongebob re-dubs classic movie scenes with their silly cartoon voices. It's just too weird to ignore. Kind of like that rash.
-Erk
Friday, February 15
Idiots on the Internet
Jane Fonda hates a lot of things. America being one of them. At least that's what the Vietnam vets who cam and talked to my 11th grade history class told us. She also hates baseball, anyone under the age of 5, and clean language. What a weird lady
 No, it's not a repeat. Although I don't have anything new to write about the picture so it may feel like a rerun. But I assure you...it's the Idiot on the Internet version. Now with less smartassery!
And thus concludes Idiots on the Internet. Tommy sent me this with the heading "Most F'ed Up Video Ever." I don't really know what to make of it. Personally what I would think of to describe something as the most f'ed up video ever would be far too horrific to actually speak aloud, much less write on the internet for the entire universe to read. But man...it's pretty weird.
-Erk
Thursday, February 14
Idiots on the Internet
Cleveland's favorite potentially gay quarterback who may never get to play, Brady Quinn has been accused of shouting anti-gay slurs outside a bar. I don't really have anything else to say about that. Don't know if the guy's compensating or what...doesn't matter. He's not playing any time soon.
This is not idiot on the internet related. A student at ODU is conducting a survey about the upcoming football team. If you'd email her with the answer to these questions about the team it would help her out a lot. Here is the quote from the email:
"For my senior honors colloquium class, my group and I are analyzing Old Dominion University's upcoming football team and analyzing how it will affect students, faculty, other student athletes, and the surrounding community in Hampton Roads. My job is to see how the people of Hampton Roads outside of the university view the upcoming football team and whether or not they will be attending games."
Here are the survey questions.
1) How do you feel about ODU Football?
2) Will you be attending the games?"
If you email your answers here it would be super cool of you. And you're quite a good looking listener too if you do it. Otherwise....well yeah. Enjoy the day.
-Erk
Wednesday, February 13 -
Idiots on the Internet
More Chris Berman. There seems to be an outbreak of these lately. Turns out he's just a normal lover of Canadian drugs like the rest of us when he thinks the cameras are off. Have fun with an annoying sportscaster here.
This may be the worst thing ever. I know I know...I say that a lot. But a pageant queen type girl who has everything handed to her and actually utters the phrase "I feel sorry for people who aren't gorgeous" has to be one of the main culprits behind international terrorrism. This woman is setting this country back thousands of years. Yes, thousands. Ugh...I can't even watch this
-Erk
Tuesday, February 12 - Uh.....
Idiots on the Internet
Yeah...this is funny. I'm not sure what kind of hockey fan this chick is. But apparently there seems to be some sort of attachment to some player on the ice, because when this fight starts the language gets seriously. That seems like an odd description, but you'll find it to be quite accurate I think.
Tommy's video is just something you have to be able to enjoy. There really is no reason not to like Kool-Aid man, en espanol
This video actually defies description. Honestly. Public access, and the old cartoon hero Underdog as interpretively danced by some woman. I don't get it. You don't get it. Why does this exist? I mean...I'm laughing really hard right now...but why?
-Erk
Monday, February 11 - Oh, so now it's cold
This place is weird. That's about all I can say.
Idiots on the Internet
It was loud in the office and it took me forever to figure out what this video was. It's not entirely clear just looking at it. This marching band enacts Super Mario Brothers among other old video games. Nice stuff...if marching bands are your thing...yeah.
Conan O'brien rules your face. And the sooner you submit to it, the happier you'll be. He even interrupts network news to deliver news that they were already delivering. What a great guy. Giving hope to us red people all over the world. Oh yes.
Burger King has struck a winner with The King. I don't care what you say. That makes me want burgers. Well then they took the burgers away and tried to punk the general public. Well then what happens when they decide to do that in what some would call "the hood" or "tha hood." Depends on who you ask. But it's graphic. Normally I'd swear here...I'm not sure why.
-Erk
Friday, February 8 - Stinky Swedish Fish
Somehow I originally typed "Fist". Weird. I should probably stop explaining my typos that I end up averting. Kind of defeats the purpose.
Stupid News today featured a can of really stinky fish they eat in Sweden. Apparently it's the worst smelling thing ever. I'd try to come up with some good analogies for its smell. But it may get this entire website shut down forever. Enjoy the fish!
-Erk
Thursday, February 7 - A week until something stupid
Shelley mentioned this story yesterday, so here's the video. Dude who "allegedly" stole something doesn't like his lawyer so he basically pops him in his punk-ass mouf!. In court, of course.
Sometimes it takes an entire village to turn over a truck. It's not like Halo where it just takes a press of the RB button. But if you do ever find yourself in this situation....make sure the truck is not in gear.
 This is Highly Disturbing! Woman falls down and catches a knife RIGHT IN HER FREAKING EYE!!
Bored grocery store employees set up 6 minutes worth of dominoes. They won't be bored much longer. Clean up that mess! Damn kids.
-Erk
Wednesday, February 6 - Too much for one show
No really. I walked in to 6 videos to put links to, and I know we're not going to get to all of them. So it's like a bonus for you people who only check the website but don't listen to the show. So Hi Mom.
Idiots on the Internet
It's a song for Britney Spears that basically says what a lot of people are thinking. Yeah you're messed up. In one of the worst ways ever. But you know, if you got serious and went back to the gym occasionally and for the love of God put down that ham, we'd still rock.
This looks like a Spanish version of Jackass. Something about this prank seems very familiar, but still damn good. Fake wheelchair crossings can have hilarious results. You know, it feels weird to actually describe what's going on instead of going off on some rant about how Google video can't tell me how to properly tie a tie around my neck. Gah!
Laughing at blind people falling. Famous blind people. That's all this video is. And shame on all of you. He can't help it. There was far too much gravity in that room. And you all know it.
Rick mentioned yesterday some weird Thriller video. I don't really know what else to say because it's loud in here and I can't type what I think instead of what I'm hearing, and I really have to concentrate hard to not put in all the swearing. Thriller on a subway.
That Danica Patrick Super Bowl commercial was supposed to be a big tease to get you to go to some website. No one I know went. In fact, I was watching in a room with 2 computers in it and had no desire to check it. The email containing this video says "I guess we should have looked into it." Maybe we should have.
-Erk
Tuesday, February 5 - Oh Crap, pay your rent
Yes, another personal reminder for me. Idiots on the InternetThis video is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. Not the absolute worst, but one of the worst. Why anyone would need to hula dance the entire time they're sitting is totally beyond me. Is it something that requires that much practice? Really? I've got a toilet that MAKES me play checkers in order to use it. It's the very same principle!!
Tranquilizer darts work. Like really well. Probably not something you should volunteer for. But what do I know? I don't have a camera in front of me. Something about a camera makes peoples' judgement just fall to tequila levels. DART!
This only has 4 "Diggs". That seems really low considering it's actually pretty funny. The Improv group "Improv Everywhere" is protesting Wendy's for their inaccurate representation of redheads. Ha! Take that, pasty logo!
This Abercrombie thing is taking on a life of its own. There's already parodies of it without there being an actual original video. That doesn't seem possible. But 111 shirtless men go shopping...yeah enjoy that.
-Erk
Monday, February 4 - Everyone is Hungover
Idiots on the Internet
Alex Trebek goes absolutely nuts while trying to record some promos. I can't say I blame him, but that's because we all love the sauce as much as Trebek does. Oh I'm sorry, the correct question was "How f'ing wasted am I?"
More news bloopers. Because you know how much we all love it. It's a compilation of some of the best. Some of them very recently viewed right here, others some classics we aren't aware of. I'll have some more stuff later, assuming I can remember how to properly write the HTML for getting pictures to work. Brb.
I was supposed to put this up earlier. So don't go telling on me. K? All the Super Bowl ads can be found here. Some good ones, some ok ones. So go and enjoy mmk.
-Erk
Friday, February 1 - 2008 is Almost Over
Seriously...one month is already done.
Idiots on the internet
More news bloopers take over again. This one has been played before on this show, but now it gets its own little feature and background music. Ooooooo! The Worst Weatherman Ever. Followed closely by the worst on-air name ever. Somebody had too much fun in the control room. Doesn't sound like something I would do at all...nope.
I find Chris Berman to be highly obnoxious. I would love to watch a football highlight wihtout having "WHOOOP!!" screamed at me and each player given an asinine nickname. That is why this video of Berman completely losing it makes me so happy. Good find, Tommy.
It's Friday...you're gonna be hating life when you get to work early on Monday. GO THE FOOTBALL!!!
-Erk
Thursday, January 31 - This is what it has become
Idiots on the Internet
Here at Tasers Tasers Tasers Tasers I'm pretty sure we're well stocked on Tasers!! If you need to see someone fall down and use their pants as a restroom because of a lot of electricity being shot through their entire body, then we here at Tasers Tasers Tasers Tasers have just the video for you! Because we LOVE tasers so much that for today only we're renaming the Rum-Blog "The Taser Taser Taser Taser Blog!!" Because it's fun!!
Here at Funerals Funerals Funerals Funerals we love....yeah I probably shouldn't do that huh? Well this is the worst funeral ever. I know I've seen this before but I don't remember putting it up here...but yeah. Here at 3rd World Funeral Blooper Videos watch as caskets and wacky people get in the way and fall in with it!! I know this is hard, but how could you not laugh? Seriously.
CNN is a racist organization. I know those are strong words, but these pretty little white newscasters just love offending "reverse oreos" on screen. Someone's going to get an email.
-Erk
Wednesday, January 30 - More words!
I knew it was only a matter of time before the parody videos of that roided out mustache-freak from the other day started showing up. I was thinking about making one myself. Tommy found one that is gold, though. I can't even touch it.
This video is titled "Worst Karaoke Ever". One look at the first second of this video will you tell you why. That's right, everyone get down to Seth's Bar Mitzvah Karaoke!
If you're tired of snooty Patriots fans, then here's your chance to smack Tom Brady. Not that I'm condoning that sort of thing.
-Erk
Tuesday, January 29 - Bloobity Blah Blah Blah!
That's a 3 percenter if I ever typed one.
Idiots on the Internet
Germs will kill you. No seriously. You don't stand a chance. Not even the old standard "Duck and Cover" techniques work for this sort of thing. They're gonna get your, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
This is really the worst job in the world. You ever wonder how they get elephant DNA for science? Hmm? Do you ever wonder? Because I can honestly say that I never have. And this video proves to be just as disturbing as it is useless. Ugh...what could they possibly want with all that DNA?
More to come later at some point that is not right now...and stuff.
-Erk
Monday, January 28 - This is a lot
Seriously. Lots of good stuff to start today with.
Idiots on the Internet
Yet another in the disturbingly cute series of baby videos featured on this...feature. This time a baby farts. Which makes it cool. But then he freaks out. Which makes him not cool.
Will Ferrell seems like a fun interview. But it would probably be more fun if you didn't even know he was there. Or if you were a crotchety old man who tries to be funny by deliberately getting things wrong to sound like a dick. Then you would probably be enjoying yourself but pretending not to. Either way, it's about to get hot and latin in here.
Giant guys with mustaches shouldn't film themselves doing anything. It's like dude...you have a mustache. I don't care how 'roided up you are. Stupid. And a little disturbing.
And this video is a bonus treat. I don't mean to laugh at old people openly. But this lady cracks me up. I wish I could come up with an awesome 3rd grade diarrhea limerick for her. But let's just say that the guy who comes up later and points at the turd on the floor as if to accuse the guy standing there of dropping it makes me laugh the most. Enjoy....Old lady pooping in grocery store.
This is old in internet speak...but the geniuses behind Super Bingo and Powerthirst are now working on the greatest lawyer commercial ever. Strong language for you sensetive-types. But hire this guy if you want stuff done. He'll sue everything and let you do his wife....so he kinda rules.
-Erk
Friday, January 25 - That ain't right
Idiots on the Internet
This is everyone's worst fear. And it's proof that it can happen. Dude...birds freak me out. This sucks. These sentences are short and choppy. Seriously...bird craps IN HIS MOUF!!
more eventually...maybe...possibly.
Thursday, January 24 - Stuff and whatnot and stuff
Idiots on the Internet
We've all played dumb pranks on our parents. I remember playing Oregon Trail in middle school and naming a character after my little sister. The character died of dysentery somewhere in Colorado and I called my mom at work and told her that. That was not cool. I was a serious dick and I'm sorry. But this kid does something actually pretty funny. Hides a fake mask in the toilet causing his mom to basically get a concussion in the tub. Now THAT is how you Pwn a parent.
The crappy Gumble from Gumble to Gumble talks poorly about drunken Redskins fans. Well drunken NFL fans in general. I always figured a story like this would start with Eagles fans, but I'm proud to say that I'm a Redskin fan after seeing this. Kind of.
So we didn't get to any of this today. That doesn't mean you can't watch it. We may run these tomorrow...who knows. That's all I got.
-Erk
Wednesday, January 23
Idiots on the Internet
The first video today is mislabeled. It says "exercise ball accident." I see these words and I get a little excited because I expect to see someone totally eat it at the hands of a giant ball. This video contains a guy actually exercising and sets up like a tard. Now it's funny to see someone screw up working out, but this is an "exercise accident" that just happened to feature an exercise ball. How sad.
Tuesday, January 22 - The Whitest People Ever
Idiots on the Internet
This is painful to watch. Bellydancing is one thing, but pulling large pieces of furniture down on top of you is another entirely. Why would I bring that up? Just watch this. For realz...this is just dumb. Nice rack though.
And speaking of white people, The Whitest Kids you Know continue to take over the internet with their films. This one is quite awkward. I've never felt the need to critique someone else's technique, but I have to side with the guy who flips out in this video. Wow...this is really funny.
Mitt Romney is officially the Whitest Person Ever! Who let the dogs out? Bling? Nice...welcome to 1998 Mr. Future President. Because we as a people need someone in charge who is completely in touch with archaic slang that was abandoned years ago because it was so embraced by...well...old white people. Let's go MITT!!
-Erk
Monday, January 21 - We're working
In case you were curious.
Idiots on the Internet
Still no speakers, so these just look like silent films without the helpful captions. So I'm going to trust the guys are sending stuff over that works.
This first one looks like it features a cute little kid saying something cute-like. So set your faces to "Awww".
Tommy's contribution is something about a coffee shop woman being psycho. I'm not really sure what's going on here, but it kind of looks like she's trying to get planes to land there. Which I would advise against seeing as she's inside a coffee shop. Most coffee shop owners aren't big fans of that sort of thing.
Friday, January 18 - HOLY CRAP IT'S FRIDAY
Sorry, that's exciting for some of us. I get to sleep in tomorrow.
Idiots on the Internet
I have a problem now. I have no speakers. I have a feeling this kid says something funny about monsters. Or she could turn into Large Marge from the Pee Wee movie and threaten to summon the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse and unleash armageddon on all of our asses. Don't think it can't happen.
Ok it's later. We're gonna do what we can to help our friend comedian John Witherspoon out and refer you to his website. Go to the store and buy some awesome greeting cards. Help him out, because as you heard, his kids need limo rides to school.
-Erk
Thursday, January 17 - Words on a screen
That's about all I got so far. IE 7 is not my friend.
Idiots on the Internet
This first one really makes me laugh. Like I feel bad for the girl trying to use a barf bag in an airplane, but when it all shoots right back on her face I almost stop feeling bad. The laughter is a little uncontrollable.
If I didn't know better, I would swear this was from a movie, probably starring David Faustino, because there aren't really enough Bud Bundy references on the internet these days. But anyway, Australians are infinitely cooler than everyone.
The truck nut controversy is literally going to tear this great nation apart. If the comments of councilman Spruill have anything to do with it. Listen as he refers to the people who have these Truck nuts in not the most flattering manner. Heh.
Wednesday, January 16 - Plop
Idiots on the Internet
Bad sports calls always make us laugh. Looking at the comments on this video tells me this is from Long Island, yet they're talking about the Lombardi trophy that the Colts won last season as if it were definitely not Long Island. Which only furthers the theory that Internet Commenters are Insufferable Morons!!
I don't know why I should know who Diane Keaton is. I can't think of a single thing I've seen her in...but she dropped an F-bomb on live tv the other day. That makes her fairly cool...I guess.
Photo Caption Contest
Send us your best...
Tuesday, January 15 -
Idiots on the Internet
Donkeys are dangerous. And you shouldn't ride them. Ok, you can ride them, but don't stand outside and try to call a donkey race. That's just asking for trouble.
 This picture is either a UFO or an extreme closeup of none other than the Loch Ness Monster. No word yet on if the object has asked to borrow a small amount of American currency up to or equal to three dollars and fifty cents, but we will alert you if there are any developments. Keep watching the skiis. I mean skies. Yes, skies.
Monday, January - 14 - Internetterings
Idiots on the Internet
 It is my personal belief that when making the "fisty" face, one should not look quite so surprised. But that is just one man's opinion, I wasn't there to have this happen.
And I swear I've linked to this before, but I'm probably wrong. Just one of those millions of crazy Japanese game shows where people do humiliating things to themselves to win a set of kitchen knives. This time with boxing gloves and swimming pools full of what appears to be pudding.
 I'm not going to write anything bad about TGI Fridays, but I went to this place that's a bit of a knock-off called IFH Mondays....yeah. Their commercial is pretty accurate. Kinda tame compared to what happened to me, but I'm sure you don't want to hear about that. Oh yeah...LOTS OF F-BOMBS! Nick Swardson saves the day again...
 This is a picture. It is taken from a video. I'm fairly certain I don't have to tell you what is going on in said video. However, I'm fairly certain that no one knew they really have two trunks.
-Erk
Friday, January 11 - Blah
Idiots on the Internet
This show has a fascination with the taser, and rightly so. What a great LEGAL way to inflict harm upon just about anyone. So this is a bunch of people being tased videos, because you all are very very sick people.
This is the best Family Guy top 10 that [adultswim] has put on its website so far. The last one was greatest musical moments, and I thought they all sucked. So this time, it's the top 10 moments of Crapping on Meg. The worst character on the show, so it makes sense.
Taking it light today because it's Friday, and I have to work again later, so find your own links.
-Erk
Thursday, January 10 - More stuff we won't get to...
I guess that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Idiots on the Internet
I'll write funny stuff about each link later, right now I only have time to put them up.
1. Klingons in the white house? Yes, the Romulans have taken over Canadian parliament and we've GOT to do something about thse pesky Ferengi!! Too much Star Trek for you? Yeah, me too. Link #2 will contain nothing but obscure Star Wars references so as not to offend the rest of the nerd contingent (You Battlestar Galactica freaks don't count, by the way)
2. Fake-ass Cartman Kid Preacher. Nothing worse than a kid who works on pod racers preaching to you about the dangers of being alive on Tattooine. That was a stretch, but I don't care. It works for me.
3. Best Taunt Ever...or Worst Come-on Ever. Either way I think he wanted to see if the dude would take off his shirt. That's what that is the international sign for, as is my understanding.
4. Random Tampa Bay Cheerleader Profile? This one never came up on the show so I'm not sure myself. So I'll run with the default "Look! Boobies!" line.
5. Baby doing something babyish. Disgustingly cute, so I'm not saying anything about it. Far too metal for that.
So now it's after the show I can put up some super cool stuff!!! Like this...
 What this man holds in his hand is a ball of fire. This video will instruct you how to make one of your very own. I am of course not encouraging you kids out there to try it, but you adults with poor decision making skills can be my guest.
Nothing cool ever happens at a parade. Ever. Except this one time that negates my use of the superlative "never". Rarely is now the word of choice, as some Clydesdales break loose and start just plaing wrecking s#!%. I guess they need their dalmations. That is so inside it's not even funny.
-Erk
Wednesday, January 9 - A Lot of links
Seriously, I was not expecting this much this morning.
Idiots on the Internet
Is completely taking over.
 John McCain is described as a national hero, too soft for some people, sleepy, and a bit of a jerk. I don't know enough about the man, so PLEASE hold your emails for someone who doesn't refuse to read anything over 4 sentences long. Hush, it makes sense to me.
Mr. T isn't as intimidating as he once was, and the fact that we let a guy wearing super short jorts boss us around as a culture kind of makes me sad inside. But he does dispense some damn fine advice.
 Few things bring people together like a video of an animal attack. I can't explain it, but I can tell you that somebody gets ruined. Hard. And again, dolphins show why they are not to be trusted. I know they look cute, sometimes even a little hot...uh...but they're dangerous.
Finally, when shopping for a couch I can get chicken in the same place. There's so much right with this video that it truly is sinful. Places to lay down and eat chicken, and we even provide you with the chicken! Seriously, someone around here NEEDS to open one of these.
Yup. Wear More Wool so they will create better billboards. Perhaps one with a pun that makes more sense so they can afford a donkey to put the sheep on. DERP!!
-Erk
Tuesday, January 8 - Too Early to be funny
It really really is. So I'll rely on what the guys send me to do the work for me.
Idiots on the Internet
This is the part where they talk about internet stuff that tr00 and 1337 people knew about years ago. And a lot of people are going to ask why I used that number, and I will laugh at their n00byness. There's a reason I'm saying all this before hand...
More news flubs. But uh....yeah...lots of dead time here. This one seems weird. Like is it not live? Cuz that sucks if it's not.
This is from a site called "Very Funny Ads". I think they're lying.
Hmmph.
Tommy played a clip from a "kid doing a dead-on George Bush" impression. I said it sounded like Will Ferrell from one of his SNL bits as Bush. Well what's funny is this video has the same audio as what we played. Coincidence?? Methinks not. PWN3D GRIFFITHS!
This video is killing me. I'm going to post this now because I just saw it. If you're familiar with 2 Girls 1 Cup, which you should be ashamed of by the way, you have to have wondered how they talked these girls into doing those horrible unspeakable acts. Well, wonder no more! The fine folks over at CollegeHumor.com have taken out all the guesswork. Of course, there is also horrible unspeakable language in said link, but you had to expect that, right?
-Erk
Monday, January 7 - a;sldkjas;dfj
That is a perfectly legit title and you know it.
Idiots on the Internet
The creepiest bit on Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job! is....well it's hard to pick just one honestly. Everything they do is beyond weird. Well Casey and his brother are featured today. And no, I'm not sure why either. But here's another one...These clips should come with a bong.
Bill Gates pwns some Guitar Hero n00b with Slash at a video game conference thingy. Pssh...chick can play the game without even looking. Whatever, nobody's impressed ya dork.
Apparently nothing is safe...not even drinking glasses at hotels!!! I don't know what else to write about this one. I really don't.
Friday, January 4 - Holy Crap It's Friday!
Well it is!
Idiots on the Internet
 TV Weatherman has to pee. And it appears he's going to go right over the Illinois/Ohio area.
And if girls farting is your thing, you're a weirdo. But Mythbusters has just the segment for you. Now I've seen a couple pretty girls fart in my time. And let me tell you, it is just as glorious and funny as you would imagine. Wait...
Thursday, January 3 - It really is a trap
Today looks to be nothing but
Idiots on the Internet
Robot Chicken clips shouldn't count. That's all I'm going to say, but Admiral Ackbarand his very weird looking fishy cereal are trying to warn you of something, but for the life of me I can't figure out what.
And now...the most boring/hippie-inspired version of a Guns N Roses song you'll ever hear. Try to enjoy.
Finally, I swear I've already put a link to this somewhere, but I'm far too lazy to look that up. And if I typed that sentence too fast, it would have said "fart oo". So there you have it. Wait, what? Oh right, cat attacks news reporter. More proof that cats are terrible creatures.
Wednesday, January 2 - Everyone Else Comes Back Today
This video was from the NFL this past weekend. And holy crap, I've never seen a hit like this.
Shelley was busy over the break entertaining me with these two videos. I'm not sure how many people are actually going to laugh, but I don't care. I'm going to try to put the link up. Unfortunately I can't figure out the video url because it's Google video and not Youtube, so I'm linking to Shelley's Myspace blog with the videos for you to see the web classic before it becomes a web classic...2 cups, 1 cup
Idiots on the InternetFrom earlier in the show...A terrible news blooper. And by terrible I mean, uh, how do I put this delicately...That girl a freak!!
-Erk
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