---

Tuesday, December 11 - Oh the Humanity!

Thursday, November 29 - BOOBS

This link should keep you busy for a LONG time. Or a couple seconds. Women Jumping Rope. And the last video is all naked, so don't click it if you're a kid.

I never thought about it before, but the Tennessee Titans have the worst nickname ever. Now I'm not talking about for shortening purposes. If the Buccanneers become the Bucs and the Jaguars become the Jags then what do the Titans become? Think about it. But this dramatic history lesson proves that people in Tennessee are incestuous baby-eaters. Or it says that's not true, either way this is the history of the Titans. 

-Erk
 

Wednesday, November 28 - It's Brutananadalewski!!!!

Again, vague references to cartoons that not many of you watch is the order of the day. 

This is Carl. He loves the Giants, football in general, women, and the band Boston. He also hates a lot of things, like exercise and razors. You need to watch more Aqua Teen Hunger Force if any of this paragraph was news to you. But you can get to know Carl by watching this video of him ranting about the BCS and Eli Manning having a stupid face. Nice pants by the way.


And that about does it. I think I spent too much genius yesterday. D'oh.

-Erk 
 

Tuesday, November 27 - Heh, Hooker Slideshow

You think I'm just making this up? Pssh. Pssh I say. Some of the classiest and best looking women have had to resort to prostitution to pay the electricity bill. These are examples of the exact opposite of that. Mugshot yumminess. Click the picture under the busted mug for more.

Ugh.

If you want to do something nice for some servicemen overseas, here's an email address for you. Here is the story:


 US Marine Colonel Simcock, the commander of USMC Regimental Combat Team 6 in Iraq, is asking for 6,000 positive e-mails to his Marines. That's one for each in his unit.
 
It doesn't have to be The Gettysburg Address. Something as simple as "Hello, Marine. We thank you for what you're doing. You are in a noble task. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Best wishes and get home soon" is more than sufficient. mailto:RCT-6lettersfromh@gcemnf-wiraq.usmc.mil


This has probably already made the internet rounds, but if you don't recognize this picture then I'll tell you what it is. This kid just stuck his face in a fire ant mound. This kid is freaking retarded. Yup. I said it.


And this is ...And Justice for All from the new game Rock Band. The drums look hard. I don't know how I feel about this so far. 

and Go Redskins

-21
 

Monday, November 26 - Specifically Said no Titles

That's so inside, not even funny. The reason some of this stuff doesn't get a lot of time and attention is because I get here and someone will say "Hey put these links up" and I have about 15 minutes before the show starts to do it. And considering I can type at a whopping 6 words per minute using 2 fingers and looking down at the keyboard the whole time, I've completely wasted all of the time I had by writing this stupid paragraph.

Will it Blend: Guitar Hero? Because the only way to top throwing an iPhone in a blender when they were still $50968 is to....nevermind. This isn't as dumb.

More taser stuff. Yup. It looks like what you would expect. Only now with pregnant wife in tow. 


Cartman returns to the Buffaloes. Since Trey Parker & Matt Stone are Colorado alum, they get to make sweet player introductions like this and this.

It's been a while since someone here has been hurt with an exercise ball. For months I've waited for another good video of someone being struck down by the mighty hand of...the guy holding the exercise ball. Notice the fish-eye lens. If years of watching skate video nut-shots has taught me anything, it's that the fish-eye lens almost always means someone is about to get their s*** ruined. So enjoy....bitch.

-Gristle McThornbody
 

Wednesday, November 21 - A Glut of Stuff

They tell me "Hey, put this stuff up and we'll talk about it and direct people to the blog page during the show" so here's this stuff.

Item the First: Vagina Street

Item the Second: In case you somehow never saw this (Internet elitist alert! Internet elitist alert!) here's a woman sounding like a bassett hound after stomping some grapes. 

Item the Third:  Silence of the Lambs bloopers. I haven't had a chance to actually watch this, so I'll go with the description I was given.

Item the Fourth:  Madonna is an old whore. So it only makes sense that her daughter.....yeah. I'm not picking on a kid for that.

Item the Fifth: Creepy. I can't use the description used in the email...let's just say the internet's Peter Pan makes an appearance...and it's creepy. Especially now that he's engaged. To an actual woman!

So I don't think there's any more room for me to look stuff up on my own now.



Now that it's after the show, I can say that I was wrong. I'm incredibly upset with myself for missing this yesterday. But it's SUPER BINGO! and it will rock your geriatric face right off. I'm not even playing.


-Erk

 

Tuesday, November 20  -  Man this is good

It's a police video of a D.U.I. on a riding lawnmower. Let's just say if had to get a beer for a woman for the same reason as this guy I'd be on a mower too. Man...this guy's wife is a hardass.


If all environmentalists really had it in them to act like these guys, there probably wouldn't be any more problems. When looking for an efficient method of persuasion, never underestimate the power of the completely insane. STRONG LANGUAGE HERE, but it's freaking good.

And if you're completely disgusting this time of year and want to use holiday food items in the bedroom, then you're sick and need help. But there are resources available to you online. Like this site that gives you 15 ways to use a turkey baster for sex. Not that I'm condoning that sort of thing. But it's there. FAIRLY GRAPHIC SEXUAL DESCRIPTIONS sounds like an appropriate set of words to follow that sentence for some reason.

-Erk


 

Monday, November 19  -  I Scare People

In case you missed it this morning, Jason the Showwrecker, Big Bird, Sonja and myself were all out selling the new Tommy & Rumble CD "Zeroes" out of our trunks. And my own personal highlight was a girl got out of her car and immediately screamed "Oh God you have a beard!" Yes, yes I do. That's normally what people exclaim when they see me anyway, I mean this thing is good. But apparently this woman has a phobia about men with facial hair. Women with facial hair are no problem, but I scared this girl just with the sheer might of my face. 

Oh, and to the chick who stole CDs from Jason....have a great f-ing holiday. I have a whole string of expletives for you, but can't censor all of it so I'm just going to call you a meanheadface.

I don't like putting a lot of links to baby videos. They're just too damn cute. But this baby farts....and then calls herself out. So there you go, toddler gastronomics.

And here's a news blooper that isn't so much a blooper as an angry man kicking trespassers off of his property. Take that, reputable news source!!

-Erk

Friday, November 16  -  Friday you say?

What a lame title. There's a video I forgot to put up from yesterday. We played audio from a news story where a woman was struck by lightning and the news story had technical glitches. So now it's like she is forever being struck by lightning. And didn't even get cool "Electro-Man" powers like in that last Ernest movie. I think it was the low-budget one he produced in his backyard called Ernest and the New Zealand Rash Dance. Wow....Jim Varney jokes...you can tell it's Friday.


Jessica Alba Vs. Kim Kardashahavaplop
Pervs, click here. Who has the better microphone holding technique? And if you vote that Kim Kardashiavilovich is better than Jessica Alba at ANYTHING other than who more resembles livestock, I suggest you never return here. Go on now..GIT!!

-E

 

Thursday, November 15  -  Real Friendly Around Here...



Why?

And more importantly....why???

Cowbell Hero made its debut on our air-waves last week, and now you can see what actual gameplay might look like here. Jerks stole our idea and made it dull. Yet kind of funny, if you're into that sort of "ironic and I have an idea but don't really know how to fully implement it" kind of humor. Crap, do I think it's funny anymore? I've confused myself, excuse me.

-Erk

 

Wednesday, November 14  -  This Cup Sucks

Not often will I title a show blog about a drinking apparatus. But Shelley and I both agree that the shaker cup I drink 7 gallons of water from on a daily basis is the worst cup ever. You see, it has a screw-on lid that never stops screwing. You know what I'm saying here, when you screw the lid on something it stops to let you know that it's sealed. This stupid cup never stops letting you turn it. It's terrible. So it leaks water everywhere I go, like a slug trail just less icky. And I'm only going off about it now because as I opened up this page to edit the blog, it spilled water all over me. Worst...cup....ever.

Thank you, Comic Book Guy. Moving along. Some snobs over at something called New York Magazine put together a list of what they call the 20 Funniest Internet Videos of 2007. I've looked the list over and I can say that I haven't seen half of them. And being the king of the internet that I am, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that some of these suck. But I can't be bothered with it, so you click here and let me know. K?

And I posted a Craigslist link yesterday. It inspired me. In many ways. So be sure to check out the listing I made yesterday in "Missed Connections" and see if you've seen the girl I'm claiming to look for. It made me laugh, so you will follow suit, k? Excellent. Such good readers you are. 

-Erk


 

Tuesday, November 13  -  How Many Atoms in that SnowCone?

Be sure to check out OnDemand today and find out how much the floor of the Ted weighs. And also find out what toys you shouldn't buy for your kids this year. Although most of them seem self-explanatory, We're still here to help.

The teams in the western division in the NFL are beyond terrible. The fact that 2 of them HAVE to go to the playoffs sucks. That's really the only word for it. This video, straight from the commisioner's office does what it can to explain what the league plans to do about it. And I think it's quite a fine plan. Good for you, Commish. There's no reason a division that has combined for 12 wins (NFC WEST) should have a playoff team. In case you've lost count, the Patriots have 9 by themselves. So yeah...watch and laugh.

I remember the nights of getting drunk and making fake Craigslist postings. All of them trying to find imaginary women I've never actually seen with so much detail that you know it has to be fake. But this guy's ad...I really hope he finds this girl. Hell, I wanna find her myself if that description is to be believed.

-Big McLargehuge
 

Monday, November 12  -  

Dentist rage is a real problem. Support groups sometimes just aren't enough. Because as a dentist, how many times a day you have to ask "Are you flossing?" only to get a response that disappoints you and makes you question your own worth as a dentist. Why aren't they taking my advice? you might think. Well there are plenty of ways to work through what mental health specialists are calling "Dentist's Despair" other than shoving women in the street, seen here. Other ways....like booze.


Tennis is boring. Everyone knows that. But this kid had to find out the hard way and wind up eating a lot clay. The French would do that to me too though.

To continue updating a blog with no pictures because I'm a jerk, here's more of the Chess Boxing that was featured in Stupid News earlier. I wish they'd just show the match straight through without all the stupid editing. But whatever, we'll take it.


-Erk 
 

Thursday, November 8  -  Uh.....yeah

So nothing cool happened on the internet yesterday/this morning. All my normal sites are letting me down. And that makes me a sad panda. So I guess uh....talk about the show for a change? Sure.

We spun the Wheel of Interview Styles today and came up with 2-word questions and tourette's syndrome. We need things to add to it, so be prepared to call in with your suggestions or send them to tommyandrumble@fm99.com

DO IT! 

These interviews will be happening more often now, because we're kinda jerks. K peaceout

-Roll Fizzlebeef
 

Wednesday, November 7  -  I'd doubt it too

A "woman" in Stupid News was accused of not being a women and made fun of so she pulled her pants down to prove it. Upon seeing the mugshot, I'd ask for verification too. But not ask for the pants down. Don't they have to give people who have that surgery some kind of certificate that says "Yes, it used to be a penis" or something? Cuz that would make it a lot easier. So anyway...yeah...this mug shot doesn't exactly scream MATERNAL. Caps because of the screaming, get it?

 Yup....used to be a dong.

And here's more reasons why Tracy Morgan should be on every tv and radio show ever. Well I don't know if this is actually more reasons as it is a singular reason. That being that he is completely insane. Just leave it on the doorknob.

-Erk

Tuesday, November 6  -  LEEEEEEROYYY JENKINS!!

Stupid News mentioned a disgusting drug involving huffing fermented poop. Ugh. Well one of the street terms for the drug was Leroy Jenkems. Well here's the reference in case you aren't familiar with the World of Warcraft video where Leroy Jenkins originated. In case you still can't follow, this is a role-playing game involving magic and swords and whatnot. You need good strategery, and Leroy Jenkins just straight ruins it. At least I have chicken.

And speaking of chicken...Maury rules, and here's more proof. This woman cannot live a normal life because of her fear of chicken. And man is this funny.



This is the old corpsehumper from Halloween's stupid news. Here's the story that will suck the fun out of your day. Enjoy.

-Erk
 

Monday, November 5  -  Gangsta Popes

When you find an article titled The 5 Most Badass Popes, it doesn't really matter what the content is, you have to share it with people. So that's what I'm doing, cuz I'm a nice guy like that. You should probably tell all your friends about it and then mention how awesome I am for finding it and telling you about it. And that I should be showered with gifts like baskets of ground beef and young wives. Not in the basket though, just the beef goes there.

This video will always hold a special place in my heart. You see, one night after a lot of drinking some my friends and I decided we would try to see if we could download the R. Kelly video. You know the one I'm talking about so I'm not going to describe it. Well this is the first thing we found, and I have to say it's way more entertaining than what we were really looking for, so we gave up. Enjoy The R. Kelly Video! 

-Erk


 

Friday, November 2  -  Holy Crap It's Still November

And windy.


And you're (Saturday edit: I never use the wrong form of "your". Ever. I am a complete dope, and have bastardized the English minor I got in college...for shame) day's going better than this guy's. You aren't in Iraq with a knife in your head. At least I hope. And if you are, I'd suggest stepping away from the computer and getting some f-ing medical attention.


I'm not familiar with Kansas City Chief Jared Allen. But apparently he's tearing it up with 8 sacks on the year so far. What does he attribute his success to? Healthy diet? God? An unsavory amount of methamphetamines? Nope...it's the mullet! Respect it. The audio on the video isn't that great, but you get the point. Praise it...for it is great.

-Bold Bigflank

Thursday, November 1  -  Holy crap it's November!!


Robert Goulet may be best know by some rugrats like myself for being made fun of on SNL in years past by Will Ferrell. But perhaps the greatest achievement to add to his legacy would be his Emerald Nut commercial from a recent Super Bowl. What a great man.


Yesterday in Stupid News there was the story of a man who romanced the corpse of a 92 year old woman. Turns out he's a semi-pro football player. And it also turns out that his Myspace link has been found by internet trolls. I checked the interests...necrophilia not one of them. Who knew??


Oh, and people in Australia eat weird stuff. I had a whole joke lined up about bodily fluids and whatnot, but there was no way to make it not sound incredibly gay and disgusting. And did I mention disgusting? So yeah, I just left it at weird stuff. Cuz you can eat your own earwax and not be gay. At least that's what that guy at the rest area told me.

-James K. Polk